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Let's Talk About Libido

Updated: Jul 6, 2021

Listen to the Marriage and Martinis Podcast and don't forget to Rate & Review!

5) Facts about sexual desire and libido (from last week’s episode, Let’s Talk About Libido,” to which we highly recommend every sexual partner in a long-term relationship listen).

  1. Libido peaks for women during ovulation, so it might be helpful to get a tracker and plan a date night around this time of the month.

  2. Studies show that a woman’s sex drive heightens from the feeling of being desired, so if you’re a female and your partner isn’t giving you that feeling often, that may be a conversation you want to have. If you’re a male and your partner is a female, think about more ways you might incorporate letting your partner know that you are thinking about her in an intimate or sexual capacity.

  3. Some sex experts and researchers have argued that diets high in soy can decrease testosterone. Sex expert Colleen Singer says, “although soy products are high in nutritional value, they have phytohormones, which are known to change the endocrine system. This in turn lowers the female libido by seventy to eighty percent.” (

  4. While men and women peak sexually at different times (men around 18 and women at around 32), there is no scientific evidence that women want sex less than men. Rather, they just experience this “need” and “desire” differently.

  5. Masturbating is actually a good thing when it comes to sex drive. Self-pleasure keeps a person’s “sexual pilot light” on, and keeps sex in the forefront of a person’s thoughts. So, don’t be concerned if your partner is masturbating a lot. It’s an indication that they are thinking about sex, it’s lowering their stress level, and boosting dopamine, so they’ll probably actually be in a better mood.

4) We love you, Texas! And, we all want to help.

As of yesterday, there are still around 500,000 homes without power. Beyond that, tons of people’s homes and possessions have been destroyed, and many resources are out. Here are some places to which you can donate and help:

3. If You Loved Bridgerton, You Might Also Love….

I won’t lie. Watching shows like “Bridgerton” and reading series like “50 Shades” definitely sparked my sexual desire for those periods of time. Here are a few of my other steamy suggestions if this genre of media helps to get you “into the mood.”

2) A Free and Simple Way To Boost Your Happiness

Did you know that Goal Setting is actually a really effective Happiness Booster? Simply setting a goal can improve your mood and give a sense of purpose, but oftentimes getting started is the hardest part. Our favorite lifecoach, lifecoach Amy (who also happens to be my sister), has created a FREE self-guided version of her Goal Setting Workshop. The downloadable PDF will help you select the right goal to focus on RIGHT NOW and what steps you need to take to build momentum and enjoy the journey. Amy has used this approach to help Adam and I set our goals for our business and set a plan towards achieving them.

Sign-up here for the bi-weekly newsletter, and the amazing Goal Setting Worksheet will be in your welcome email. PS: the newsletter's kinda great, too... it’s all the benefits of a personal life coach straight to your inbox. You know, the kind of information that is actually useful! And she loves books, so book recos, too!

1) Date Night Questions: (Corresponding to last week’s episode on libido - go listen together too!!). *To ask your partner and vice versa. These are meant to spark meaningful conversation and communication, so please try to listen, inhale, exhale, and discuss. *THIS IS A SHAME-FREE ZONE*

1. We’re planning a weekend together just the two of us for after the pandemic, to reconnect and spark more intimacy. What does a weekend like that look like to you? (be as detailed as possible)

2. Answer each of the following:

  1. Favorite body part of mine:

  2. Favorite body part you like to be touched by me:

  3. Sexiest movie:

  4. Sexiest song or soundtrack:

  5. Sexiest or most romantic memory of the two of us:

  6. A location/setting that would definitely help put you in the mood:

  7. A smell that you associate with sex:

3. How would you say both of our libidos have affected our sex life over the years? How might we work on “revving up” our sex life some?

4. What is one thing I could do more of to help make you feel wanted or desired?

5. Something that turns you on when you think about it?

6. Something that turns you off when you think about it?

For more prompts and questions for open and honest communication, plus bonding challenges and strategies for discussion, get our Date Night Questions Experience ebook.

Our Favorite Cocktails (Drink With Us!)

After a couple of these cocktails, your libidos will thank you.

The Danielle "Cosmo Light"

* 4 oz. Tito's Vodka * 1/2 oz. Cointreau * 3/4 oz. Cranberry Juice * Splash Lime Juice

Adam's Signature Cocktail

* 4 oz. Tito's Vodka * 1/2 oz. St-Germain * Bar Spoon Agave Syrup * 1/2 Lemon Squeeze * Fresh Mint

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