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Let's Get Kinky!

Updated: Jul 6, 2021

Listen to the Marriage and Martinis Podcast and don't forget to Rate & Review!

5) Sometimes I’m very emotional….

This past week our podcast episode, things took an unexpected turn and I wound up getting very emotional about body confidence and “feeling worthy” in the bedroom. I know this is something with which so many of us struggle. Here are some of my favorite accounts to follow for body positivity and building confidence concerning our beautiful, powerful, unique bodies. We could all use a little daily reminder of what rock stars we are no matter our size and shape.

4) “I Burn For You….Literally”

Adam and I converged on a few possible bedroom experiences we would like to try in the near future. One of our parallel "kinks" was hot wax play. As we mentioned in the kinks and fetishes episode, our biggest mistake in the past was lack of research BEFORE experimenting. Here is some steps to I found when preparing for a night of hot wax stimulation.

1. Make sure you’re using special, body-safe wax candles.

Body-Safe Candle Ingredients:

  • Soy: These are the safest candles to use since they cool the most quickly on contact, says Smith. Plus, they’re less likely to cause skin irritation.

  • Paraffin: These burn at a hotter point than soy candles, so try one if you’re into more intense (read: painful) wax play.

2. Establish a safe word.

3. Have a bucket of warm water next to you in case of burns.

4. Set up a safe area to play in—far away from anything flammable.

5. Do not use a candle with a glass container

6. Prep your surroundings for cleanup ahead of time. This is not a time to use your best sheets. Place old towels or sheets down that you don’t mind getting ruined.

7. …And prep your body for cleanup.

Once wax cools and hardens, it can be super painful to remove from any areas with body hair. Baby oil on your skin before you start is a good way to make clean-up much easier and pain-free.

8. Let the candle burn for around 20 to 30 minutes, and then test the wax on yourself first.

It’s important that you test the wax on yourself before trying it on a partner so you can physically empathize with the sensation your partner will be experiencing. That said, your pain tolerance might be way higher than your partner’s, so communication is always a must as well.

9. Don't forget about “aftercare.”

Oftentimes, these more provocative experiences can be physically and even mentally draining, even when they’re very enjoyable. Make sure you and your partner are sure to provide aftercare for the other person, which can include everything from cuddling, to words of affirmation, to massaging gently with aloe vera or after-sun products.

(Source: Cosmopolitan Magazine)

3) Turn Me On

Adam and I are so excited to talk to the couple behind the “Turn Me On” podcast. Bryde and Jeremie are a poly, adventurous couple who LOVE to talk about sex. Jeremie describes himself as a horny guy who wants to know all about people’s sex lives. Bryde was raised to have a really positive relationship with sex, which is something about which I cannot wait to ask her (and find out how her parents did that so I can replicate it). We have a thousand questions about their lifestyle, so definitely download the episode this coming week because it is definitely going to be fun and provocative!

2) Memes of the week


(Corresponding to this past week’s episode about Kinks and Fetishes)

*To ask your partner and vice versa. They are also great for a zoom girls’ night. These are meant to spark meaningful conversation and communication, so please try to listen, inhale, exhale, and discuss. *THIS IS A SHAME-FREE ZONE*

1) If you/we were going to try something new in the bedroom in the “kink” range, where would be your ideal place to do it? (Hotel, home with no one else there, in public, while on vacation, etc.)

2) Rate on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the LEAST likely) how likely you would be to try each of the following acts:

Hot wax play

Bondage and ties



Food play (chocolate body paint, ice, ice cream, etc.)



Sex in a public forum/club designed for couples play

Toys for couples

Dirty Talk

Other _____________________

3) If you were to choose a “safe word,” what do you think would be a good one for you?

4) Would you be willing to choose one of the above experiences (see on which you most aligned number-wise), put a date on the calendar, research, and make a plan to experiment with that act? (spontaneous is NOT always the best and most feasible option for sex) If not, when might you both be willing to revisit this conversation if this is something you really do want to eventually pursue?

This is just a sample!! For a whole lot more romance and sex-related topics, questions and "yes, no, maybe checklists," CLICK HERE

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