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The Friday Five - 07/19/19

Welcome to the Marriage and Martinis’ Friday Five!

We cannot wait for you to hear Monday’s episode! Nick He was raised in China and taught that the only things that mattered were his studies and acedemics. He never even thought about sexuality let alone discussed it. Once he got into college, he started to think he might be gay, but knew in his culture there was no possibility of coming out. It wasn’t until he was twenty-eight that he started to explore sex. After moving across the world, putting himself in numerous dangerous situations trying to find love and romance on Craig’s List and finally coming out to his extremely conserative parents, he is now happily married with three surrogate children. Our conversation with him is both heartwrenching and completely inspiring. And of course, we absolutely love happy endings. Make sure you’re subscribed so you can be the first to listen to this incredible story.


4) When the 4th of July leads to a blowout -- both literally and figuratively.

Yes, I was super pissed off at Adam on the 4th of July. I know from a poll I did last week on Instagram that most of you can relate to your spouse usually taking things a step too far and not knowing when enough is enough in a given situaion, and that is exactly what happened while at a party with our kids this Independence Day. After about 15 minutes of heart palpatations and my blood boiling, the dangerous situation was diffused, but my anger was still there. Of course Adam’s reaction to my anger only exacerbated the situation. Hear all about it here in our Boundaries Episode.


3) Glennon and Abby Here I come!! 

I know like me, so many of you are Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach fans. Guess what? THEY ARE TOURING AGAIN! Life Coach Amy and I will be heading to see them on November 4th in NYC, and I cannot wait to be part of that energy!! If you’re looking for a night of inspiration, belonging and acceptance, I have a feeling this experience will encompass all of that and more. It’s a ten city tour, so check here to see if and when they are coming to your town!


2) Jameela Jamil and Jonathan Van Ness Are My Spirit Animals

During the Trust Episode, I talked about a recent podcast episode that I absolutely loved, and how these two beautiful humans were so completely vulnerable that I wished I was a part of that conversation. It’s definitely an episode worth listening to and it will have you laughing, nodding, and wishing you could pull up a chair and just join them!


1) Date Night Questions - From The Boundaries Episode

Answer the following yes or no (both you and your partner) concerning smaller relationship boundaries:

  1. Sharing a toothbrush

  2. Sex during your period 

  3. Going to the bathroom in front of one another

  4. Kissing before brushing teeth

  5. Sharing toiletries like deodorant

  6. What other small boundaries do you have in your relationship?

The Gottman Institute says that the biggest boundary we should set while fighting to is not to display contempt: no eye rolling, sarcasm, or accusatory remarks. Instead of saying, “you do this to me,” it should be “I feel like” or “I need.” Talk about how this currently affects your fighting styles and how you can start using “I” more, rather than “you.” 


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