This resource is meant to supplement the Marriage and Martinis' Podcast Episode, "Get In, B*tches, We're Going to F*ck Sh*t Up!" (The episode goes into much more detail and includes a great deal of information not included here). If you haven't already, please remember to follow and subscribe to the Marriage and Martinis podcast. If you've already listened to the episode and enjoyed it, it would mean a great deal if you could rate and review on Apple and/or Spotify. I also encourage you to share this link with anyone whom you think might be interested. We need as many of us showing up as possible! And follow me on Instagram to get more updates about saving the world. Thank you!
Over the six years that Adam and I have had the Marriage and Martinis platform, we've often shared how we've (well, mostly me, if we're being completely honest), consistently made it evident to our three kids that they're expected to, "see beyond their own shadow" (yes, I stole that term from The Lion King). Simply put, their empathy and concern should extend further than that which affects them, personally. They're individuals, but they're also humans of the world. We reiterate that they're to use their privilege to always support, lift, defend, and learn from others, especially those more vulnerable and marginalized. There are many ways to do this. I would argue that the greatest way is to model for them what true activism looks and feels like. There is absolutely no better time than now to do this.
One of my favorite sayings is, "activism has many lanes." Now is the time to speak up
and take action, even if it's the first time you've ever done so. I also know that people have strengths, weaknesses, limitations, and hardships. Life is heavy right now. Therefore, I encourage reading over the following, and choosing which options feel most comfortable and doable to you! Each one is necessary and makes a difference. As long as each of us shows up and make some statement and difference, together we will be more powerful and impactful than we ever could have imagined! By the way, if you're reading this, I am so damn proud of you for caring and for being brave. Thank you. I love you. Thank you for showing up. We ARE going to change things. xoxo
1) The Power Of The Purse
Through podcast interviews I've done and in-depth conversations I've had with champions of Social Justice, one thing remains clear: we simply cannot do it all. For instance, at this moment, I am still buying from and sharing links to Amazon. This is something that people have questioned, not so much in a judgmental way, but more trying to understand why I haven't closed my account there. The simple answer is that as a busy mom of three humans and three pets, a full-time job, the exhaustion and overwhelm of my OCD and anxiety, and just....LIFE, I need to utilize some shortcuts. The more complicated and fully transparent reason, is that my job is weird, and part of my income relies on being an affiliate. Unfortunately, Amazon makes it much easier than other companies to do this. But let's be honest - we live in a Capitalist society. No matter from where we buy, there's almost always going to be some question concerning how ethically-made-and-sourced products are, as well as the integrity of the brand and company. But, two things can be true at once: we can understand that we CANNOT be perfect in our mission, but that does not mean we should not be as intentional and vigilent in our spending as possible. Ideas for how to make a difference in how we choose where our money goes, are:
When possible:
Research brands and companies before shopping, traveling and investing. Choose those that seem to align most closely with your beliefs and principles.
Pay attention when around people who have knowledge and have already developed successful habits. For instance, my sister-in-law is an environmentalist. Each time I'm with her, I'm inspired to replace products I own with something that is more environmentally-friendly, and rooted in research by people who are working to make a difference, not just a dollar. While at a local coffee shop recently, there was a woman carrying a bag that looked handmade and was beautiful. I asked her where she got it, and she and she proceeded to tell me about a new, female-owned shop a few towns over. That will be my go-to place I buy my bags from now on.
Pick and choose. It's ok! For years, I haven't allowed Chic-Fil-A in my home, because of their values and overall agenda. My kids know not to even ask to go there, and why, specifically. However, my kids eat Mcdonalds more than I would like to admit. They are currently one of those companies pulling back from their DEI program. While I'll continue to subtly remind my kids that we should choose somewhere else, I also don't want to create a situation where they start to associate activism with too much restriction. This will only have an adverse effect on their internal desire to be lifelong activists themselves. I want them to associate it with more positivity, impactful experiences, pride, and connection; to understand that while we sometimes need to make sacrifices, but we also need to live.
SPREAD THE LOVE FAR AND WIDE!! One of my favorite things about having a sister and sister-in-law who are worlds ahead of me in "ethical consumption," is that they're always teaching me about new brands and solutions as a consumer. Did you find a product or brand that gives back and supports a mission in which you believe? Share the link with friends and family who would be interested! Start a shared doc with people in your life, or a private facebook group and keep adding to these lists. Know of
a local restaurant owned by immigrants who might be struggling right now? Pick one day a week that your family is going to go there for dinner, or order takeout.
Simple ways to incorporate THE POWER OF THE PURSE!
Shop from this list when possible (and of course, always attempt to shop small, first):
List updated February 19, 2025. Copy and paste this list, print it, and put it on your fridge! **This list is based on the best data I could find. Please double check if you have hesitancies about a brand, as the list is always changing.
Companies to Support
Apple
Ben & Jerry's
Costco
E.L.F. Beauty
Dr. Bronner
Ulta
Rare Cosmetics
Bank Of America
Fidelity
JP Morgan
Fenty
Old Navy (GAP, BR, Athleta)
American Eagle
Eddie Bauer
J.C. Penney
Nike
Lane Bryant
Kroger
Wegmans
Walgreens
Macy's
Nordstrom
Torrid
Dollar Tree
GIANT Grocery
TJ Maxx
Go To Foods (Moe's, Auntie Anne's, Jamba, Cinnabon)
Puma
Adidas
Levi's
Neiman Marcus
Bergdorf Goodman
Wayfair
Ross
H&M
Microsoft
Ikea
Volvo
Companies To Avoid (when possible)
THIS IS IMPORTANT! THE THREE COMPANIES THAT DIRECTLY SUPPORT THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION (CREATORS OF PROJECT 2025) ARE: WALMART, COORS, and EXXON. IF POSSIBLE, AVOID THESE FIRST AND FOREMOST!
2) THE POWER OF SHOWING UP!
Right now, our leadership feels kind of like a deadbeat dad. We know they're out there, but for the most part, they're doing the BARE FUCKING MINIMUM! I will not give up total hope that they will finally feel enough pressure to fight back with force and some damn Kahunas! But it is kind of up to us to keep putting that pressure on them as much as possible, every chance we get. Many of them will be up for reelection in the next year or two, and so they know the importance of gaining the support of their consituency - DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS! Being a part of this movement, even if it's only in small doses and simple ways, IS powerful! I promise, you will feel more in control, meet more people who align with you views, and ease some of your anxiety. Plus, when one of us shows up, others follow. It truly is a domino effect.
Ways you can show up right now:
Reach Out To The Reps - YES - It Is VERY Effective!!
Schedule a time to do this each week, and treat it as you would any other important appointment. Also, it's a great idea to start an "ACTIVISM" group chat to share ideas, resources, and to hold one another accountable.
5calls.org (This is my absolutely favorite - so simple and effective)
2) Support Content Creators Who Are DOING THE WORK and USING Their Platforms to Fight and Support!
MAGA rarely hears the truth and gets called out about their conspiracy theories. Television is basically an echo-chamber, considering they only tune in to Fox News or Newsmax. Same goes with Newspapers and accessing info on websites. Right now, social media is more important than ever! The algorithm is still random enough that they will come in contact with opposing viewpoints, as well as actual facts. A lot more content creators are stepping up and being brave, but there are still far too many pretending it's, "business as usual," either because A) they support Trump and are ashamed to admit it, or B) they don't want to lose their Trump supporter following. And, in the ten years I've been a content creator, I have understood this viewpoint from my fellow "influencers." But right now, it's defcon4. We need EVERY content creator, celebrity, public figure, and brand to use their platform. The louder it gets, the the more our messages will reverberate. I see huge platforms dancing away and sharing their favorite air fryers, tip-toeing around so no one notices, as if the whole country isn't on fire. Meanwhile, I have friends who are putting social justice and advocacy over monetization, risking and sacrificing a lot in order to meet the moment. In the past two months, I have personally unfollowed public figures, podcasters, and "funny moms" whom I have interacted with for years, even though it makes me sad. I am STILL sifting through those I follow, either calling them out on their platforms or in DM's, while finding ways to increase my support for others. I'm sorry, but NOW IS NOT THE TIME to bury our heads in the sand! Sure, we can still laugh, take breaks, and concentrate on other aspects of life. JOY IS RESISTANCE! But, really? NOT ONE POST HIGHLIGHTING THE INJUSTICE, IN SOME FORM? They just lost my trust and support. During a time when 1.7 billion people are on Instagram, there is no better place to SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOPS.
Ensure We're Supporting Those Who Are Fighting With/For
Us (choose whatever you're comfortable with):
Ask in the comments why this brand/celebrity/content creator hasn't addressed the
elephant in the room, and is acting like they have no skin in the game (newsflash: it's probably because they feel they don't). Encourage others you know follow them to do the same. You'll definitely get some MAGA saying,"this isn't a political account." Up to you whether you want to engage, but at least you've let that account know that you're paying attention. If you don't feel comfortable calling them out publicly, you can send them a DM or email.
After calling them out, unfollow any account you notice has not said anything.
Throw your support behind platforms that are helping you in some way right now. If they're making you feel seen, heard, less alone and more understood, then find ways to help them back. Follow, like, comment, share, subscribe, rate and review, purchase their products, contribute to their venmo (many are taking a great deal of time away from advertising and marketing). EVERY BIT HELPS!
Likewise, unsubscribe from podcasts, substacks, emails, etc. from anywhere that don't match your energy and rage, and are burying their heads in the sand refusing to ackowledge what's going on.
If you are on social media, use your stories and/or some posts to share information you think would be the most impactful. You don't have to have a big following. But it's a great way to demonstrate what it looks like to be courageous and may give others the push they need to do the same. And unfortunately, these are the only places usually that Trump supporters are seeing actual facts, news, and the destruction of this administration. Attempt to share information that is backed by evidence, and site specific sources. Eliminate the opportunity for them to say, "this is propaganda," which will inevitably be their first response. It's not so much about trying to change their minds - that's totally futile, as most of us already know from experience. It's about ACCOUNTABILITY! WE SEE YOU! YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM WHO YOU ARE REVEALING YOURSELF TO BE!
If you have friends and family whom you know supported Trump, it's obviously completely up to you if you want to stay close with them or not. Dynamics can be complicated. But in the end, boundaries are healthy, and these are more serious circumstances than we're used to. Another option for those whom you know really want to keep a connection with you, is to tell them you're willing to get together, but you'll do so if you can have the opportunity to just share some information with them that you think they may want to see. Choose an issue that would be most relatable to them. People are more likely to engage face to face. Chaotic arguing, however, is almost always ineffective. Instead, bring an article (hopefully from a source they won't consider "fake news,"), bring and watch a specific news segment,or a documtaryou think might be impactful, or even ask them to have a little "book club" about it, obviously with you getting to decide which book it will be.
3) Donate!
I'm not going to sugarcoat it. If you have the ability to donate, that makes a big difference. I know it can be worrisome to know which organizations to trust. It's always a good idea to start local. Right now, everyone is struggling in some way. The rights of pretty much every marginalized community are at stake. Choose an issue that feels right to you. Write a check, ask what supplies they need, see if they have an Amazon wishlist (remember, right now we need to give grace and understand that it's all overwhelming, and shortcuts like Amazon wishlists make it easier for small businesses and companies to do the more impactful, broader work). Put a "Change Jar" on your kitchen table or island, and label it with an organization of your family's choosing, and keep adding change and dollars to it anytime you can. When it's filled, turn that into a donation, and have your kids be the one to do it.
A short list of possible places to donate (or get involved however you can):
Women's Rights/Reproductive Rights:
LGBTQ+ (First, search of a local organization):
Immigrant Rights and Protections:
Fight Antisemitism:
Climate Change/The Environment
Stop Book Banning and Protect Historical Education:
4) SHOW UP LOUDER AND PROUDER, AT HOME AND IN YOUR COMMUNITY!!
Nothing makes MAGA more uncomfortable than when we show up as our glorious, authentic, inclusive, MAMA BEAR selves! Let them know that not only are we not going anywhere, but we're only leaning more boldly into our identities as allies, activists, advocates, and empathetic humans. Let them have their red hats! We have our rainbows, signs, and unique as fuck personalities!
Did you know....every month is Pride Month right now?! Check out our pride merch!
Clothing:
Jewelry:
5) CREATE A SAFE, INCLUSIVE HOME THAT MAKES A STATEMENT!
In a post last week, I spoke about how this print has traveled with my family to five different homes, and is always displayed at the front of our house. One time, one of Mia's LGBTQ friends said to her, "I love how your mom has all that cool stuff around." She was referring to the art, pillows, signs, books, and even dishware I have. I am VERY intentional in my decor, and I know it does not go unnoticed and unappreciated (also, I'm sure it has made some visitors VERY uncomfortable). One woman stated in a comment on my post, that as a mail carrier in a non-diverse area, when she sees flags and signs like this one, she breathes a sigh of relief, knowing that this particular residence is kind and safe. THIS IS ONE WAY SIMPLE, EFFECTIVE WE CAN ALL SHOW UP RIGHT NOW!
Black Lives Matter Front Yard Sign (BLACK OWNED SHOP)
Kids Diversity Wall Art (Great for a playroom)
Hate Has No Home Here (TRANS OWNED SHOP)
To get our 2025 Activism Planner, make sure you are signed up for our emails! It will be sent out soon in our next email campaign.
To My Fellow Mama Bears (and Aunties)
I hope this resource helps in some way. It has been heartbreaking to see so many of us feel so incredibly lost and yet so ready to stand up for what's right! I hope our leadership will step up, soon! In the meantime, I am constantly researching, collecting, communicating, and questioning on all of our behalf. It has definitely been an exhausting couple of weeks, navigating social media, the podcast, putting our Auggie the doggie down, and just processing. I know so many of you feel it, too. Your support keeps me going and means the world to me! I love you all, and I KNOW we are going to get through this together!!
While right now, I am putting my usual advertising and marketing aside to concentrate on this, it would help if you could buy me a coffee, or contribute whatever you can. Creating this guide took around ten hours, even though I know that seems absurd. I want you to know that I intend to stand with you, and behind you throughout this crisis. I AM AWAKE!!
If you haven't listened to my episode about being an activist and getting pummed to save democracy, I also highly recommend doing that. Rating and reviewing the podcast on Apple and/or Spotify if you haven't already! Make sure you're following Marriage and Martinis on Instagram to stay updated, and also to come together for some JOYFUL resistance!!