Adam and Danielle have been actively working on their own “challenges” during the past month. They know what has worked, what hasn’t, and how to make this the most successful bonding opportunity possible. The guides, emails, and support they offer take the guesswork out of the process, allowing partners to simply follow the directions and concentrate your effort on the task at hand. Having a neutral party cheering on both partners and helping to keep up the momentum, rather than having to constantly remind one another, ensures the energy and vibe stays positive. The goal is to make this experience as pleasant and enjoyable as possible, and Danielle and Adam will be keeping you both motivated and invested throughout the entire process. The carefully curated guides include plenty of sample challenges, examples of challenges that are not recommended, tips and strategies for keeping the experience as fun and stress-free as possible.

The whole concept behind the challenge is so that everyone “wins.” While your partner is ensuring they’re working towards fulfilling your needs, they know that you are doing the same for them. Every person has at least something they think their partner could be doing more of or improving upon. This is an opportunity for each person to feel more seen, valued, and understood. Most bonding opportunities for couples (therapy, vacations, getaways, retreats, workshops) cost a lot of money and possess rigid time constraints. While the challenge is not meant to take the place of any of these other relationship tools, it does offer a flexible alternative for anyone who is looking for a simpler, very affordable, more immediate, totally unique, fresh way to bond. Partners can choose how and when best works for them to satisfy their role. Plus, the effects and results should last far longer than the allotted thirty days. All your partner has to do is just give it a try. Once they start to feel the positive results and feelings that occur from stepping up for one another, as well as the natural ongoing shift in interactions between you that occurs, that will provide enough motivation to keep going!

The included guidelines, recommendations, and questions help partners understand how to put together a productive yet realistic challenge. Couples also have the opportunity during the first meeting (and during check-ins) to ask and answer questions, while working together to tweak and fine tune each challenge so that it best satisfies everyone’s needs. Even though these challenges are separate, the actual secret ingredients are team work, open communication, and open-mindedness. At the conclusion of the first meeting, each partner should feel that they’ll have an opportunity to demonstrate authentic effort and “step up” in a meaningful way, rather than having been set up to “fail” or “lose.”

First off, let’s not even go into the challenge with this mindset. Each person should start.

While thirty days is the dedicated time frame for the Marriage and Martinis’ challenge, it is also meant to be the “jumpstart” period for something far bigger that will occur on a grander scale. This month-long guided period will help truly get you both more comfortable with stepping outside of your comfort zone, recognizing what your partner needs more of, and vice versa. It might take the whole thirty days to just sink into this new role and take consistent action in a new, impactful way. Because you will organically become more attuned to ways you can both be more present, helpful, and understanding, the wonderful feelings this inspires will have a ripple effect. Towards the end of the challenge, you will receive guidance, questions, and motivation to help keep up the momentum far beyond the thirty day period.