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Feeling Beautiful in the Bedroom

Updated: Jul 6, 2021

Welcome to the Marriage and Martinis’ Friday Five!

Listen to the Marriage and Martinis Podcast and don't forget to Rate & Review!

5) We All Can Do Better!

The poll I did on instagram about how we feel when we’re naked (75% said they don’t feel sexy) really led me to just one conclusion: we all could do a better job making our partner feel sexier and more beautiful. Compliments, facial expressions, loving touch, sexts and loving texts, and physical connection outside the bedroom all can help lead to more confidence when we’re naked, and therefore, most likely more, better sex! Think about this for real and decide if you are doing enough to help make your partner feel confident and sexy. If your answer is no, then now is the best time to change that.

4) Female Empowerment Porn

In The Sexy Episode, we discuss that if someone is not paying for their porn, it is probably not being produced ethically, which usually means women are not being treated well during the filming and production. Therefore, if a person does choose to watch porn, it’s best to find a site that is run by women and whose first priority is to make their female actors feel respected and empowered. Here are a few to check out: (info via

Bright Desire: "Ms. Naughty," the filmmaker behind this production company, calls it "a deliberate attempt to show all the good stuff that we love about sex—intimacy, laughter, connection, and real pleasure." The videos feature the silly, awkward side of sex as well as the hot and steamy side. 

Good Vibrations After Dark: The feminist sex-toy store Good Vibrations makes an effort to cater to women's diverse desires, and its video collection is no exception. You can search specifically for feminist porn, women-directed films, and even sex-ed guides—something very needed in a world where way too many people learn everything they know from some pretty unrealistic porn. You can pay per minute or rent each video for $5 to $10.

Literotica: Images and audio are great, but sometimes there’s nothing better than reading some good old-fashioned erotica. Literotica isn’t your grandma’s scandalous paperback, however. The free resource provides some of the hottest erotic fiction and fantasy on the Internet from a variety of authors and points of view. Its standards for stories are high, so you can be sure that the stories featured here are, ahem, quite useful.

3) “Porn Needs To Change”

“I went from feeling dirty and shameful for wanting to watch porn, to creating the porn I wanted to watch.” - Erica Lust’s TED Talk is a 12 minute must-watch. “Women as objects, fulfilling men’s desires” should not be the porn of today. Thankfully, there are women like Erica Lust out there changing all of this.

2) Sexiest Movies and TV shows

I asked our instagram community what their choice of sexiest movies and TV shows were. Here were some of the most popular answers:

Fifty Shades

Normal People (Hulu)

Outlander (my personal favorite)


The Notebook


The L Word

1) Date Night Questions - From The Sexy Episode (Each Partner should take a turn answering).

  1. Finish the following questions: I think my partner is sexiest when _______

  2. My biggest turn off(s):

  3. Sexiest movie or TV scene:

  4. I feel sexiest or most sexual when ________

  5. Sexiest place you’ve ever been:

  6. A place you’ve never been that seems sexy:

  7. One thing I think we could do to help our love life/romantic life hotter:

  8. What songs/artists would you put on a “sexy playlist? (to possibly use in the bedroom)”

For more prompts and questions for open and honest communication, plus bonding challenges and strategies for discussion, get our Date Night Questions Experience ebook.

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