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The Power of Saying "No"

Updated: Jul 6, 2021

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5) We’re doing self-love this Valentine’s Day

Our bonus episode this week with Natalie Lue hopefully opened our eyes to the power of saying “no.” On holidays like Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day, I often feel guilty for wanting some time to just be on my own. But I’m letting my family know that this Sunday I want a few hours of alone time. I bought a special Lush bath bomb, my favorite incense, and a new journal. I’ll be taking a bath and writing an “unsent letter” to my younger self and then having a glass of champagne to “cheers” my flawed-but-ever-evolving past, present, and future self. What will you be saying “no” to on Sunday so you can get a few hours of “me time,” and what will you be doing with that well-deserved period of zen?

4) The “Unsent Letter Cleanse”

I highly recommend you listen to our bonus episode with Natalie (coming out today), in which she explains the catharsis of “unsent letters;” just putting pen to paper to one person from your past or present life and writing every thought that comes to mind. What do you do after you write it? That’s up to you, but most people choose to (carefully) burn it. “You might think, ‘Well, what’s the point in letting it rip in a letter if I can’t send it to them?’ Um, everything. Writing out your feelings stops the past from holding you hostage. It’s a safe space. Journalling takes you from causing havoc in your body and your life due to buried and unprocessed feelings and thoughts, to healing you with the self-care that comes from perspective.” Visit and also listen to our episode for more about this therapeutic exercise.

3) Top five Valentine’s Day Marriage and Martinis episode to listen to this weekend about SEX, ROMANCE, and LOVE (in no particular order):

2) Valentine's Day Love Potion

"This cocktail is the perfect fit for any Valentine's Day celebration. With its vibrant red color and pleasantly sweet cranberry flavor this drink is sure to win over anyone who tries it!"

  • Sweetened Lime Juice

  • Raspberry Vodka

  • Cranberry Juice

  • Grenadine

1) Date Night Questions: (Corresponding to last week’s, “The Worst Valentine’s Day Episode Ever”) *To ask your partner and vice versa. They also are great for a zoom girls’ night or double date. These are meant to spark meaningful conversation and communication, so please try to listen, inhale, exhale, and discuss. *THIS IS A SHAME-FREE ZONE*

  • Give me three compliments you have never given to me before (it’s ok to both take a few minutes to think about this….it’s kind of a tough one).

  • If you could give me or buy me one thing in life that is actually unrealistic but you wish you could anyway, what would it be and why (it does not have to be a material item)?

  • What is one thing you’re really excited to do together once the pandemic is over?

  • Would you rather:

    1. Spend the weekend together on a villa on the beach, or a log cabin on a lake?

    2. Cheeses and wine or chocolates and champagne?

    3. Scalp massage or foot massage?

    4. Bubble bath together or just the two of us in the ocean?

    5. Blindfolded sensual foreplay with food (melted chocolate, strawberries, ice cream, etc.), or mystery items (feathers, wax, aromatherapy, Wartenberg Wheel, etc).

    6. Dirty talk or no talk?

    7. Nighttime sex or morning sex?

    8. FILL IN THE BLANK: ______________ or ________________?

For more prompts and questions for open and honest communication, plus bonding challenges and strategies for discussion, get our Date Night Questions Experience ebook.

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